Moormanism #21, 7-6-72

MOORMANISM #21, 7-6-72, From McLeansboro Times Leader, McLeansboro, Illinois #Moormanisms
The Gospel According to Hank:
"If you keep your eyes on your goal, you won't see the obstacles."
Scriptures to study with this Moormanism: Proverbs 21:5, Philippians 3:13-14, 2 Chronicles 15:7
He also wrote of his grandmother praying when she was snowed in. Sometimes God answers prayers by the Holy Spirit working through the most unlikely people. It is my belief that the Holy Spirit speaks to and through all of us, but we do not always listen and communicate. And by all of us I mean Christians, atheists, and people of all faiths and religions.
In this issue of The Times Leader, Hank placed an ad and two sections of Moormanisms.

MOORMANISM #21, 7-6-72

I question little league baseball and I know grade school soft ball is for the birds. I wonder what would happen if mothers would make kids a ball out of string. Would there be damaged arms? Kids would not be throwing a ball of mud when they threw the soft ball. We need a ball made of twine. Hank Moorman.

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One of the reasons I’ll never go to the moon is I haven’t lost nothing there. I’m nutty enough without being a luna-tick. 

My cousin and I were discussing a subject. I quoted a statistic I had read. She said, ”If you believe everything you read, you will eat anything you see.”

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My father’s sister told her youngsters, “If you keep your eyes on your goal, you won’t see the obstacles.”

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My friend was nervous. I told her she should ask the doctor for tranquilizers. She said, “Oh no, I was taking them once but I had to quit.” I asked her why. She said,”They had me wishing people a good day when I actually wished they would drop dead.”

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A friend of mine said, “I didn’t sleep too well Saturday night, but last night I died.” If this is so, why do you suppose she’s still here?

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Save your soft drink and beer rings because I am told the leprechauns are in need of toilet seats.

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In the 20’s my grandmother was snowed in and didn’t have any groceries. Also with her were a couple of my cousins. Grandmother was in a desperate situation. And she was praying. The older cousin slipped out of the house with his 22 and he shot a couple of chickens as well as a couple of rabbits if I recall correctly. When he returned to place the rabbits and chickens at my grandmother’s feet, she was still praying. When Grandmother saw the rabbits as well as the chickens she said, you’ve answered my prayers. Ha! Ha! said the cousin, ”I got those rabbits and chickens”. My grandmother said, maybe the devil brought them, but God sent them.