MOORMANISM #8, 2-17-72 - from McLeansboro Times Leader, McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #8, 2-17-72

Those dedicated to strife, fighting, arguing in general are usually mentally deficient or sick in the head in some form or both. Those who raise hell ought not to do that. Life is short and they get their soon enough. Wouldn’t it be nice today if some of this hell that has gotten out of control could be lowered to its proper place. I never realized that hell is a flexible thing. Ira E. Moorman.

I don’t know what possessed Hank to write this, perhaps there had been a recent crime wave at the time.

Moormanism #7, 02/02/72, from McLeansboro Times Leader; McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #7, 2-3-72

In life I wanted to be a professional ball player. Circumstances and conditions wouldn’t permit. I also tried boxing and wasn’t rugged enough. In sports I was a failure, yet I think I could have been a champion had I become a perfume salesman. Ira E. Moorman.

Poking fun at his self, Hank was not beneath this, even though he was acutely aware of people poking fun at him. I could just see him writing this and then blowing his nose, as only Hank could, right there on the floor or in a bucket.

Moormanism #6, 01/13/72 from McLeansboro Times Leader, McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #6, 1-13-72

I was hunting a few days ago near Old Fairview school house. A covey of quail flew and I shot two of them. The third object was not a quail, but it was an old weather beaten object. I shot it and the object fell. I examined the object and it looked like the parts of a very old baseball.

 I stood there for an hour trying to comprehend this puzzling thing. Now here is what happened. Thirty-two years ago I played my first baseball game about three hundred feet from this spot. We had a pitcher that couldn’t throw hard enough to break an egg and I remember the last out. He threw a slow ball, the batter swung and the game was over. I knew the catcher didn’t catch the ball, but the umpire called him out.

Our pitcher threw that ball so slow that the ball couldn’t fall. I think he threw that ball so slow that we all forgot to see it. You must agree that it had to be a slow ball if it took thirty years to travel three hundred feet.

Could it be that this pitcher played too much softball in grade school?

Ira E. Moorman

Again a humorous story, to make his point about softball.

Moormanism #5 12/30/71 from McLeansboro Times Leader, McLeansboro Illinois

MOORMANISM #5, 12-30-71

Last week Joe Morris asked me what I take for a bad cold. I told him I try not to overcharge anyone, and I usually get 50 cents for mine. Ira E. Moorman.

Having already covered what he felt were his major causes or issues, Hank placed this ad of humor.

Moormanism #4 11/11/71, from McLeansboro Times Leader McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #4, 11-11-71

Dear Editor:

One of the reasons that we fail to produce good baseball teams is because of grade school softball.

Another reason is that kids in the grades ought to run more track.

Fifteen minutes a day of pitch or catch with the baseball would make a big difference in our baseball teams.

But some teachers say that it’s too dangerous. Teachers, I think, in the grades are failing kids when they let them “goof off” in a softball game. It ruins their baseball.

If kids do not run in the grades, I feel many just plain quit all sports and that one or two extra men can make the difference in high school teams.

A kid that has played too much softball I feel is as difficult to produce a first class baseball player out of as it would be for a dirt dobber to build a nest the size of an ice box. Even if he can run and throw.

Anyone that wants to discuss softball, I will discuss it with you. I feel we have never needed little league softball.

                                                                                    Ira E. Moorman

Hank truly hated softball. He even mentioned Little League softball. Funny, he’s right, we never have had Little League softball.

Moormanism #3 10/14/71, from McLeansboro Times Leader McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #3, 10-14-71

Route 1

McLeansboro, Illinois  62859

October 4, 1971

Times Leader, Inc.

McLeansboro, Illinois  62859

            Dear Editor:

            I think something ought to be done for Lake McLeansboro. First of all I think the name ought to be changed. I do not recommend these as names but Goose Neck’s Pond would be a better name or Gobbler’s Snout Lake or Mrs. O’Mallery’s Frog Pond.

            A couple of wooden piers would encourage more  people to fish since fishing from the edge one encounters a blanket of moss and some one who does not have a boat cannot do much good at fishing.

Of course, I have heard others talk of deepening the edges and I guess that would be a good idea too or just plain cleaning out the lake, yet a couple of wooden piers would aid those who fish in the lake. McLeansboro Lake isn’t much more than an oversized frog pond.

Please note that I have not recommended buckets for the bullfrogs or neon signs welcoming the ducks or an insane asylum for the mud turtles or central heating system to keep the fish warm but something should be done for Lake McLeansboro.

                                                                                                Ira E Moorman

His love for nature came out in this letter. Hank’s humor or sarcasm is also apparent in here, too. He thought it wasn’t asking too much to get the lake cleaned up. Hank would be happy to know that it has been cleaned up, but it was many years after he died that the job was done.

Moormanism #2, 07/29/71 from McLeansboro Times Leader - McLeansboro, Illinois

MOORMANISM #2, 7-29-71

The stories of Hank Moorman have become legendary here in McLeansboro, Illinois. Many were told while he was alive and they keep being told after his death.
Hank loved baseball, nature, and the Civil War. He became a 'paragrapher', one who writes short philosophical paragraphs about a topic or cause, and he published some of his #Moormanisms in the local McLeansboro Times Leader.
Articles about Hank were written and published by columnist Joe Aaron of the Evansville Courier. Howard Stevens, Tribune State Editor, also published an article about Hank. Other local publications and historical books about Hamilton County contain articles. Some stories are true and some are just stories.
Over the years I have gathered and saved articles, stories, and personal comments made by residents of Hamilton County.
Some of these I will post here, and some I can not post.

The second one, dated Thursday July 29, 1971, was a letter to the editor.

Dear Sir:

About these kids that play baseball – I think it’s high time that most of their dads should help some by hitting his kid ground and fly balls or pitching him battery practice. Unless this is done baseball will be done in this town, if not already.

Why expect someone else to make your kid a ball player when the job may not be done. Your kid in a few short years will be gone, and I think you’d feel better if you helped him some with his baseball.

Furthermore, I think if some dads would spend a little time with their kids, such as with his baseball, or fishing, or hunting, etc., then the kids that go bad might not go bad.

I have hit kids grounders and fly balls until I am sick of it. I like to see big kids able to catch a ball that want to play ball.

                                                                                    Ira E. Moorman

Hank had been long discouraged with people in general. He had tried to help kids and was constantly meeting up with opposition, so I guess he thought the pen was mightier that the sword and decided to speak out more by writing to the people through the newspaper.